The Walrus - Music With Big Fuckin' Teeth!

01/04/2008

BEACH BOY BRIAN WILSON'S LOST RAP RECORDING, "SMART GIRLS!"

"My name is Brian and I'm the Man..."

This may be the worst song ever created.

Brian Wilson obviously had no control over his life during the late 80's. He was so uninspired during this period, that he created a lame rap song. If that wasn't bad enough, he samples all of his 60's Beach Boys hits over beats that sound like a poor man's Beastie Boys.

The result was the track "Smart Girls", in which he debunks his past interest in California surfer babes and vouches for girls with more "imagination" instead. Wilson's reasoning? "Big brains are awesome, dude". Yes, that's a lyric in the song.

"Smart Girls" was one track from the lost Beach Boys album, Sweet Insanity, which also features contributions from Bob Dylan and "Weird" Al Yankovic. Sire Records refused to release it. Apparently the title wasn't convincing enough.

You can't buy this album. But if you want some insane Beach Boys that doesn't suck ass, check out the famously acidic Smiley Smile.

For similar rap careers, check out the work of Macho Man or Hulk Hogan and the Wresting Boot Band.